Not Me Monday, Number Whatever

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Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

But on to me… because it’s all about me…

Today, I did not have a huge fit when I went to a breakfast and found out they were serving stupid Bread Company bagels instead of donuts. Because my kid hates any type of bread, and had been so excited about a donut (which apparently does not count as bread). Really, do they know that they can’t randomly change things when dealing with kids? OH, and the drink choices were juice and coffee. Awesome, for toddlers, right?

I did not have to teach my child the rule “we only touch Bailey’s bottom or Mommy’s bottom. We can’t touch other ladies bottoms.”

I did not just order a potty seat from Amazon. My child is not nearly two years old. Time did not go by that fast.

I did not contemplate going outside and screaming at the man who has been jackhammering two streets over for approximately four thousand hours now.

On Saturday I did not go shopping alone for over three hours while Bailey and Jonathon napped. I am never that lucky!

I did not buy a pack of Valentine snack cakes for a party on Wednesday and they lose self control and open them last night. I do not have such a weakness for snack cakes. (I know, how sad is that?)

I did not just realize it has been like four or five months since my last hair cut. I never neglect myself for that long. I did not schedule my hair appointment during dinnertime this week, because I would never abandon my family for dinner so that I can go relax alone at the hair place!

What have you NOT done this past week?

Not Me Monday

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Because it’s December 22nd and I am frazzled and trying to avoid blogging/doing stuff/cleaning house/baking, I figured I could at least manage a Not Me Monday. It’s my favorite. So here goes:

This week, I did not bribe my daughter with candy, cookies, or chicken nuggets. Speaking of chicken nuggets, she does not refuse to eat any other form of meat.

I did not finish a pint of ice cream and then put it back in the freezer empty so that Jonathon wouldn’t know I ate it in one night!

I did not figure out where my Christmas presents from my inlaws were purchased. Because I do not have any plans to return them! I really never return gifts…

I did not tell Jonathon to stay out of the Christmas cookies and then eat one after he left the room.

I did not just try to convince Jonathon we should get a PS3 for Christmas at the last minute.

I did not just buy The Bodyguard on VHS at the library the other day. For a quarter. Because really, who buys VHS movies anymore? Not me!

So when we were at McDonalds today, Bailey did not climb up into the top of the playplace and not come down. I did not have two different big kids try to convince her to climb down. She does not love to hide. Nope, not my kid.

And while we’re talking about hiding- I do not ever pretend that I don’t know where Bailey is so that I can get a few minutes of quiet! She does not like to hide in her closet and be completely quiet in an attempt to trick me. I don’t find her when she eventually starts laughing and says “Beelay hiding!” (Beelay = Bailey)

I do not still have Christmas presents to wrap, stockings to stuff, and cookies to bake. I DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.

Yeah… maybe I should get going on some of that. But why don’t you tell me about what you did not do this week. And for more “Not Me Monday” stories, head over to MckMama’s blog.

Not Me Monday- Crazy Crazy

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Crazy Crazy, that’s how our life has been lately. Some of it’s good, and some of it is just annoying. The good part is that we have gotten Bailey’s Christmas pictures done, and I am going to give you a sneak peek. This is NOT the picture that will appear on our Christmas cards.

But they did an amazing job, and we could not choose just a few so we ended up buying a giant package of way too many pictures. If you need to get pictures done, check out Portrait Innovations. Their prices are really reasonable, and their backgrounds and scenery stuff is great!

I did not let my child watch Barney on repeat for two hours so that I could get my Avon order put in this morning. (Edited to add: I DO NOT LIKE BARNEY. My mom got Bailey a Barney video once from the library and she fell in love. She would choose Barney over anything else at this point. We have two videos, Shake Your Dino Tail and Barney’s Birthday Party. But it keeps her busy.)

I did not stay up until 1 a.m. the other night to watch episodes of Kitchen Nightmares online.

I did not buy five more sets of hairbows at Gymboree. I am not addicted to curly hairbows.

I did not drive fifteen minutes through traffic and pass about 30 other restaurants only to get to another IHOP when the first one was closed. No, I am not that into pancakes. And Bailey was not in the backseat yelling “Cakey! Cakey!” the whole time.

I did not have my mom iron the dress for Bailey’s Christmas pictures.

I did not spend way too long looking at a website with cheap t-shirts that have funny and tacky sayings on them. Who would do that??

I did not get a bunch of Avon orders during the middle of the night so that I could win some states for my Avon contest before other people woke up to start working on it! I am actually doing GREAT, but I still need quite a few states. If you want to help me out, check out that link or read the post immediately below this one.

I did not feed Bailey the mini peanut butter cups out of my ice cream last night. Because I was not overwhelmed by the disgusting amount of chocolate. (Really, I rarely get tired of chocolate, but it was BAD.)

To read what other people did not do this week, check out My Charming Kids.

Not Me Monday- short version

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While I was helping to get food ready for a baby shower, I definitely did not get hot pepper juice on my hands. (jalopeno poppers)

Then I definitely did not touch my eye, even after washing my hands

It does not actually feel like your eye is on fire even when there is no pepper juice left.

I did not scratch my nose about six hours later and feel like I was breathing fire from the pepper juice on my nostril.

Just now, I did not remind myself of the whole unfortunate pepper juice situation by adjusting my contact.

I am not typing this with one eye squeezed shut.

For more Not Me’s visit MckMama’s blog.

footnote: You would think that Vegas vacations would be somewhere to do stupid and crazy things. Well they just happen to me here in St. Louis on a regular basis. And by “crazy” in this case I mean like sleep deprived insane.

Not Me Monday #4 (I think)

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Can’t believe it’s already that time again!

This week, I did not let the housework get so far behind that I had to enlist my husband’s help. Again.

Bailey did not watch Elmo while wearing her sunglasses.

I did not watch helplessly as my baby landed forehead-first on the sidewalk. I did not have tears in my eyes as she got a huge bruise within minutes. That is NOT her millionth forehead bruise since she started walking.

We did not keep Bailey out until almost 11:00 on Saturday night. We were not at Grant’s Farm for their Halloween party. And Bailey does not think she is the dancing queen. No, she doesn’t like to dance like a crazy girl in the midst of a bunch of costume wearing kids and tweens.

I did not turn off Jonathon’s cell phone so the alarm wouldn’t go off this morning. (Relax, it’s a weekend. He didn’t have to work!) I did not purposely make us miss our Sunday school class so I could sleep a little longer.

Bailey did not start saying “No way” to everything. She also does not call me “honey” when she wants something.

We did not finally get the hot tub filled and running today after over two years. The last time I went in the hot tub was not right before I found out I was pregnant with Bailey. We would never let it sit there unused for that long.

For more “not me’s” check out My Charming Kids!

Not Me Monday #3- I love this!

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Not Me Monday is my favorite blog carnival of the week. I am always kind of on a blogging hiatus over the weekend because life just gets busy and off schedule. This lets me get back into the swing of things and it’s always fun… so here is my brief weekend recap:

I did not bribe my daughter to let us rinse her hair by feeding her a lollipop in the bathtub so she would tilt her head up- three times this week. I don’t believe in bribery.

I did not get up at 6 a.m. on Saturday to go to the Baby Mania sale and then only spend $30. Seriously, people there were not selling only tacky things in my daughter’s size. Bad luck this time…

I did not let Jonathon take Bailey to the park alone and then play with her so that I could take a four hour nap on Saturday afternoon.

I did not convince my mom to buy Bailey a Dora toddler bed while shopping Saturday night. And I most definitely did NOT tell her that I would pay for part of it if she would keep Bailey overnight more often. (This picture shows the whole room set but we got the bed somewhere else and NOT the other stuff)

I did not make money from selling my dads baseball gloves and a golf club online. My family never hires me to sell things for them. Especially Jonathon’s uncle, who definitely does not want me to sell some giant water heater or something for him, when he lives two hours away.

I did not borrow the ugliest bib ever from our church nursery and let Bailey wear it in public when we went out for an unexpected lunch with my grandparents. I did not try to turn the bib over in order to hide the ugly (primary colors and balloons and Jesus Loves Me in faded stitching) design, only to realize that it was even worse from the other side.

I did not let Bailey eat a lunch of nothing but fried chicken strips and fries.

And last of all, I most definitely did not watch two hours of television tonight while my daughter ate snacks and played on the floor by herself. What kind of mom would be so selfish?

For more “Not Me Monday” posts, check out My Charming Kids.

Not Me Monday #2- Early Edition

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I am loving this blog carnival! Here are my “not me’s” for this week

I did not buy three flavors of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream this weekend.

I did not call the car insurance company and have the spelling of my husband’s name changed… only to find out that it has to be changed back….

We did not drive around a state park for over an hour so that my daughter could finish her nap. Because that would be so lame.

I did not tell a psycho Avon customer I was going out of town just to avoid her this weekend.

I did not stay up until 2 a.m. playing on a new website I found (www.pandora.com). I did NOT personalize ten radio stations to listen to online. I am not that dorky.

I did not wipe off my child’s face and hands and feet with a baby wipe instead of giving her a bath. That would just be gross, right?

To see what else people DID NOT DO, check out www.mycharmingkids.net

Not Me Monday #1

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So I am participating in a new blog carnival today. This is the first ever “Not Me Monday” hosted by MckMama. Here is my opportunity to tell you about all the things I am definitely NOT claiming to have done.

I DID NOT spend almost $200 on groceries in less than a half hour tonight.

I DID NOT get in the biggest fight EVER with my husband this weekend. (It really WAS NOT about the groceries, either).

I DID NOT cry when my husband apologized to me.

I DID NOT sleep until noon on Saturday while my husband entertained my daughter. Because that would have been lazy and irresponsible.

I DID NOT leave wet laundry in the washer so long that it had to be rewashed.

Speaking of which, I DID NOT wear wet khakis this afternoon. My clothes are always done drying when I am ready to leave the house.

I DID NOT forget to pay my grandma’s mortgage for her.

And I DID NOT just promise my husband that I was coming straight to bed after checking my email.