Officer Down/ I hate cop killers

Filed Under Difficult Stuff | 8 Comments

This was so shocking to hear about early on Saturday morning. We had such a fun Halloween. We spent time at Jonathon’s work on Friday. Less than 24 hours later, we found out one of his coworkers husbands was killed. We had been laughing with her and she took some pictures of Bailey. She was so happy, and everything was so normal. That night her husband, a police officer in a nearby suburb, was shot and killed while on duty.

From KSDK website– A University City police officer has died after being shot Friday night. Police have identified the officer as 50-year old Sgt. Michael King, a 25 year veteran with the department. Now Police are searching for his killer.

Sgt. King the 4th officer killed in the line of duty in the history of the University City Police Department. The last officer killed was more than 30 years ago in 1976.

Flutteries in my Tummy

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Disney Vacation | 4 Comments

As our vacation gets closer I am thinking more and more about the planning I need to do. My mom is going to be staying at our house so part of me is freaking out about cleaning. Organizing cabinets, hiding stuff I don’t want her to see, scrubbing the kitchen floor. I also have to shop and make sure there is plenty of easy food for Bailey and also some fresh fruit and stuff cut up in the fridge and all that. Dishes clean, laundry clean etc before we go.

I am working on a schedule for my mom- not like I am forcing her to do a certain schedule but more like so she knows when Bailey has classes and stuff like that and when a friend of mine is going to come pick her up for the evening. Notes about Tylenol doses and where to find loveys and teethers and the special diaper cream. All the little things that Mommy does every day and I want to make sure someone else does the same thing. It is beyond me how people can leave their kid at daycare, I think I would fall apart. I know Bailey could not possibly be in better hands than with my mom. It’s not that. It’s that it won’t be ME doing these things for her, for almost a full week.

Will she miss me? Will she care? Will she wonder if I’m not coming back? Will I miss her so much I can’t stand it? I think JOnathon and I will have a great time but I am worried that when we’re not busy my heart will just be so sad. My little Buggy and I will be apart for the longest time ever. I hope Grammy gives her so many kisses and tells her I love her and shows her my pictures and tells her I am coming back. And when I get back? I hope Bailey is as happy as I am.

How can I leave this little face?

It will be okay. I know it will be, deep down. I just can’t think for too long about Bailey, I have to think about Jonathon. And all the fun stuff we will be doing.

Something the prince never knew

Filed Under Celebrities, Difficult Stuff, Video | 6 Comments

I have been crying this morning. Steven Curtis Chapman lost his daughter in a tragic accident. Here is an excerpt from a Chicago Tribune article:

The 5-year-old daughter of Grammy-winning Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman was struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle driven by her brother, authorities said.

The girl, Maria Sue, was hit in the driveway of the family’s home Wednesday afternoon by a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by her teenage brother, said Laura McPherson, a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.

The brother, whose name and exact age weren’t available, apparently did not see the girl, McPherson said. No charges are expected.

“It looks like a tragic accident,” she said.

For those of you who know us well, you know that this just hits a little too close to home. Jonathon was the one to call and tell me about it this morning.

This is the daughter that Steven Curtis Chapman wrote the song “Cinderella” about.

The words even say, “She spins and she sways to whatever song plays, without a care in the world. And I’m sitting here bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders. It’s been a long day and there’s still work to do. She’s pulling at me saying, ‘Dad, I need you. There’s a ball at the castle, and I’ve been invited. And I need to practice my dancing. So please, Daddy, please…’

So I’ll dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. Because I know something the prince never knew. Oh I’ll dance with Cinderella; I don’t want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight… and she’ll be gone.’

She says he’s a nice guy, I’d be impressed. She wants to know if I approve of the dress. She says ‘Daddy, the prom’s just one week away, and I need to practice my dancing.’

So I’ll dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. For I know something the prince never knew. So I’ll dance with Cinderella, I don’t want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight… and she’ll be gone. She will be gone.

She came home today, with a ring on her hand. Just glowing and telling us all they had planned. She says, ‘Dad, the wedding’s still six months away. But I need to practice my dancing. So please, Daddy, please…’

So I’ll dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. For I know something the prince never knew. So I’ll dance with Cinderella; I don’t want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight… and she’ll be gone.”

Thank God that he understood how quickly time goes by. I know he never dreamed this would happen, but he was very aware that they may not have forever. I hope he cherished every moment with his daughter. I hope he stopped to dance with her whenever she asked. And I hope this is a reminder to all of us to slow down and enjoy each dance. We never know when the clock will strike midnight.

One of those days

Filed Under Being a Mom, Difficult Stuff, Eleven Months, Shopping | 4 Comments

You know, the ones where your child refuses to sleep? Yep, that was our day today. This morning was fine. Bailey slept in a little later than usual, and then we went to the mall to pick up her amazingly cute 11 month/Easter/spring pictures.

We met my friend Sarah there and ate lunch. If you have ever eaten at the mall food court with me, you know what I ate. Subway- I alternate between a veggie on wheat and a Subway club on white. Either one gets toasted. Bailey and her friend Andrew (who is about 14 months old) shared raisins and picked at a few other things. I am pretty sure Bailey could exist on raisins alone if we allowed her too. Although, I am wondering- if she doesn’t chew them and they come out whole, does she get any nutrition at all from them?

Anyway, after lunch we took them to play at the play area. This one weird little girl who was two or three kept following Bailey around and touching her/pushing her/grabbing her face. The girl was with either her grandma or nanny or something, and this woman watched her but never said anything. So I was trying to be polite and say stuff like, “Be nice to the baby…” but finally we were around the corner from the caregiver-lady and the little girl started being grabby. I looked at her and made a stern face and said, “You leave her alone!” I just hate when people don’t watch or stay involved with their kids when there are other little ones around. It shouldn’t be my place to deal with someone else’s kid when they are right there, and it’s awkward to try to figure out what to do.

I returned something at Gymboree and looked quickly at the Children’s Place sale racks, but nothing interesting. I am having a hard time finding stuff for myself lately so I didn’t really even look. A lot of the styles now look like maternity clothing, and like my friend Nicole just wrote about, I am afraid people will think I’m knocked up again

Once we got home, Bailey did her new trick of pooping in bed. I am pretty sure she has it figured out that I will come get her and change her diaper. Then just about the time she was falling asleep, stupid Laclede Gas started drilling down the street from us For like an hour. Once they were done Bailey was still so ticked off that she cried for like an hour and nothing would console her until we just drove around aimlessly in the car.

It was just a frustrating day, and then once I got home from working childcare at church tonight, Jonathon got on my case about a million different things. I was practically begging him to help with Bailey because I was so tired of dealing with her (13 hours straight with not even a break for nap) and I thought it would have killed him to help with her bath. I know he was at work all day, but then he had almost three hours to himself after work before we got home. And sometimes momma needs a break too.

Why am I sad?

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Doctor Stuff, Weight | 9 Comments

I got my blood work results back from the doctor. Everything’s fine. No thyroid problems, no anemia, no blood sugar issues… so basically, I am fat and lazy for no reason. I almost wish there was a reason, so we could just fix it. Seriously, I am exhausted all the time. She said we can talk about the possibility of depression or anxiety, or a sleep disorder. Great. I can hardly wait until my appointment next month.

The Terrible Horrible Awful Day

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Pediatrician, Sick, Ten Months | 4 Comments

Today we took Bailey to the ped for a cough- she has another ear infection. They are guessing that since there was still fluid at her re-check from her first one, it got infected more easily again. So then we waited AN HOUR at the grocery store for her prescriptions- antibiotic and the damn prescription cold meds that you can’t buy OTC anymore. That’s a rant for another day.

So we get home and Jonathon decides he’s going to go to work for a few hours. I gave B a bath and then sat her down outside the bathroom so that she could go in the living room and play while I went in our bathroom to poop. THUD. Jonathon didn’t close the baby gate when he left. She rolled down like six stairs and hit the front door at the bottom. Went to pick her up and she was crying so hard she wasn’t making any noise- that’s the worst kind of cry After nursing her for a minute or two I got her settle down and she already had a huge lump on the side of her head. I called Jonathon hysterical and he turned around and came home and proceeded to yell at me for not checking if the gate was closed.

We called the ped (now for the 3rd time today cuz we also had to call from the grocery store) and she had us check pupils, swelling, movement, etc and asked about whether she cried right away and stuff. Bailey seems to be totally fine other than a bump but it was seriously the scaries thing I have ever had happen. I know that was so stupid on our part and it just happened so fast. Please make a habit of closing your baby gates even if the baby is in bed or not in that room. Jonathon thought she was going straight to nap so didn’t close it

She cries when I leave

Filed Under Daddy, Difficult Stuff, Friends, Nine Months | 3 Comments

One thing that shocks me is that my formerly so independent baby CANNOT cope when I leave the room. We are suddenly struggling again with naptime, only this time she stands in the corner of her crib and screams at the top of her lungs. No tears. When I enter the room, she stops and waves. Ya right kid. If I leave the living room while she’s playing, she cries. I have to keep talking to her and walk slowly enough that she can follow me. I can’t sit her on the floor if I am still standing. I have to sit first and THEN put her on the floor or she thinks I am just dumping her there.

I leave her places fairly often, like with Jonathon or my parents or church nursery twice a week. A few times she has been left with a friend of mine. I guess since I am home with her all day, she is used to having me there anyway. I finally finished cleaning out my office so that she can play in here while I list on eBay or check email. She is slowly learning to play nearby and hopefully eventually will even let me leave the room to pee on my own. It’s just a hard phase. Everyone warns that separation anxiety hits at nine months.

Last night I went to church to work in the nursery during Awanas and when I left home, Bailey freaked out. I kissed her and Jonathon goodbye, tried not to make a big deal at all, and said “Be good for Daddy, I’ll be home in a little bit.” She cried and cried, and she was in the middle of eating dinner so he wasn’t having much luck distracting her. I called about five minutes later and I could still hear her fussing but he said she stopped soon after that. Normally she comes with me to the nursery when I work on Wednesdays but I wanted to make sure she was completely well first. I guess it’s good for her to have more time away from mommy. We will practice that more in the near future, I hope. Like tonight, when I go to dinner ALONE with my friend Sarah.