NICU Day Five

Filed Under Breastfeeding, Difficult Stuff, Grandparents, NICU, Newborn- Taylor | 1 Comment

On Monday morning, I called the hospital first thing when I woke up. They told me Taylor had passed his carseat test and done so well during the night. Jonathon had planned to come up to the hospital with me, so my mom came over early to watch Bailey and we got up there in time for his first feeding.

While he was eating, our nurse, Katrena, came over and told us that he would be able to go home by early evening. He was scheduled for pictures, then his circumcision (no debating here, thanks) would be done on my OB’s lunch hour, then after they observed him and made sure he was peeing okay he would be released.

We went and got his pictures done. As with typical newborn pictures, they are just okay. Of course his eyes aren’t focused and he’s kind of a lump, but he looks cute anyway. Not posting them on here yet because I haven’t decided which picture to use for birth announcements.

After his pictures, Jonathon and I went to the breastfeeding room so I could pump. When we came back to the NICU and were waiting to be let in, Jonathon was like, “I hear Taylor crying!” I kept saying no, that’s not him, blah blah blah. They let us in and I saw the nurses putting him under a blue light, wearing only a diaper. My first thought was, “Why is he going under there, I hope they know he is leaving soon!” We walked up and the nurse looked at me and then I just knew and started crying.

She kept saying, “We’re so sorry! We wanted to get him settled and calm before we called you back in.” The neonatologist had decided to get one last check on his bilirubin levels and they came back way too high. She said it was good that it happened while he was still in the hospital, because if his numbers had spiked like this after he went home he would have been admitted back into the hospital. Basically he was jaundiced, which made sense because I kept thinking he looked more yellowish. They said he would probably need a few days of phototherapy. The light breaks down the bilirubin in the blood when the liver is not yet working properly.

Here is Taylor in his “tanning bed” complete with sunglasses velcroed around his head.

I guess here I should admit that I completely lost it when they told me he wouldn’t be going home after all. This whole experience was such a roller coaster ride. To be told that morning he was leaving, and then hours later to be told that he was staying days later… it was just more than I could handle. Someday I will write more about what it’s actually like to have a child in the hospital. Right now I’m still alternating between processing and pushing it out of my head. Oh and I’m going on little sleep too, so my posts aren’t so eloquent right now!

Jonathon and I took a break and went out for lunch, and went up to his work to pick up some gifts and visit and share pictures of Taylor. We went back to the hospital for another feeding, then went home for dinner. My mom offered to come back up to the hospital with me after dinner. That evening, there was a girl I knew from church working in the NICU. She was assigned to transport but shifted things around and ended up being Taylor’s nurse for overnight. It was so good to talk to someone familiar. She also said that honestly she didn’t think he would go home until at least Wednesday or Thursday.

NICU Days Two and Three

Filed Under Being a Mom, Breastfeeding, Daddy, Difficult Stuff, Firsts, NICU, Newborn- Taylor, Siblings, Two and a half years old | 1 Comment

On Friday morning when I woke up (after a NOT good night of sleep, thanks to all the nurses coming in my room all night long) my OB came to visit. She said she heard Taylor had been moved, and asked how he was doing. Right after that, I went straight down the hall to visit my baby. Each time I went to the NICU, I had to call in from the phone outside the door and they would unlock it for me. They also had the foaming hand sanitizer everywhere to use. I can’t even tell you how raw my hands and knuckles were from washing them over and over every day.

When I went in the NICU they told me that they were getting ready to move Taylor off the CPAP because he was doing better! That was great news. He had been wearing a hat to hold the tube in place, so he got the hat off. I was finally able to rub his fuzzy little head! At this point he was on high humidity oxygen instead. Oh, you don’t know how good it is to feel your baby’s head until you haven’t been able to.

I was also SO jealous of the moms who had babies in the regular nursery who weren’t even holding them. It really made me mad to see those cribs parked in the nursery. Some of them even had signs “only feed every three hours” or “no pacifier please.” I just wanted to scream at those moms and say, “You can hold your child whenever you want to! Don’t be so selfish!” but yet when Bailey was in the regular nursery I know I left her there so I could nap, etc. Funny how perspective changes.

Jonathon came up after lunch and we went back down together to see Taylor. At this point he still did not want to hold him. I think honestly he was intimidated by all the tubes and wires. He kept saying that it was more important for me to hold him but I think that was an excuse. Up until this point I had also been pumping at least every three hours all day and night. I think when you can’t be with your baby it feels like the only thing you can do to help… By that evening his nurse told me she thought he was ready to try a bottle feeding. They knew I planned to breastfeed but they said we had to start trying with the bottle first. He had been too sick to nurse after his birth (although we didn’t know then why he wouldn’t). So his first feeding was at about 34 hours old. They used a syringe to put pumped milk into just the nipple of a bottle and we got to hold it in his mouth. He drank it right away and we were so happy. They had warned us that a lot of preemies (they were calling him a “late preemie” since he was born between 34-37 weeks, although he was also technically full term but exhibited a lot of preemie characteristics…) can’t coordinate their sucking and swallowing yet so this was great news.

Saturday was the day I was supposed to go home. My day nurse was awesome, though. She told me first that I could stay through dinner and then came back later to tell me she had arranged for me to be discharged after dinner but keep my room for another day.

Sometime early afternoon on Saturday, Taylor got off his oxygen and moved to forced room air. Then later that day he got taken off that too! This was my first glimpse of him without his nasal cannula. I kept saying, “He looks like a regular baby now!”

His poor little face was so sore from all the tape, though.

Jonathon finally held him for the first time since he was admitted to the NICU!

That evening, Jonathon brought Bailey up for a visit. Our nurse Kathy did a great job hiding all his wires and everything inside the blankets. I didn’t know if she would be concerned or even notice them but we didn’t want him to look “sick.”

She also enjoyed playing “This Little Piggy” with his toes… so cute…

That evening, my parents came up to visit. I brought my mom in to see him and the nurse surprised me by asking if I wanted to try nursing! He did great. I couldn’t believe it, he latched on correctly with the first try and just ate. So unlike his sissy, who took DAYS to figure out how to eat. It was so frustrating with her… so easy with him.

Moved to the NICU

Filed Under Birth- Taylor, Difficult Stuff, Doctor Stuff, NICU, Newborn- Taylor | 2 Comments

About a half hour after Taylor was born, he started making little grumbly noises. You know how babies grunt and grumble when they’re itty bitty? We thought that’s what he was doing. Just before we got ready to move to our new room in Mom and Baby, the nurse started seeming a little concerned about him. She mentioned that she would check on him again in a few minutes. When she checked back, she said she would like the house pediatrician to come see him.

We moved to our other room, and Bailey and Grammy and Grandpa came to visit. After they had been there for about ten minutes the pediatrician came in. She checked Taylor over for about five minutes and then told me that she would be taking him down to the Special Care nursery (nice way to say NICU, lol) to run some tests. I was a little nervous at this point- all kinds of things flash through your head, from heart problems (I had a CHD) to cystic fibrosis to collapsed lung to tumors. Seriously. She said they would let me know when I could come see him, that it would be an hour or so.

I need to get his full medical charts from the hospital just to satisfy my own curiosity. I know some of the tests they did included CT Scan, x rays, and lots of bloodwork. The neonatologist, who was one of the nicest ladies ever, came down to my room to discuss the results. She sat down next to my bed and that’s when I really panicked. But the news wasn’t too bad. She told me he had been diagnosed with transient tachypnea which was basically temporary rapid breathing. They thought it was caused by two things: Immature lungs since he was two days shy of being a preemie, and fluid in his lungs. During a normal labor and delivery, the baby spends time in the birth canal, which compresses their lungs and helps remove the fluid. With such a quick birth, Taylor didn’t get much time in the birth canal! She said this condition is more common with c-section babies.

She also told me they would be starting him on an antibiotic just to be on the safe side. I believe he got both ampicillin and gentamyacin twice a day through his IV. She said his blood count was “borderline” for infection and they would re-evaluate after 48 hours and either take him off the IV or run a full seven day course. So we knew he had a minimum two day stay in the NICU. I was so disappointed that he would not be a “normal” baby at the hospital. I wouldn’t be able to hold him whenever I wanted, and keep him in my room during the day, and have visitors come see him. It’s funny how much that can throw off your whole experience with a newborn, when it’s not how you expected it to be. Especially after having a first child with no complications and a normal hospital stay.

I don’t think anything could have prepared me for going down to the NICU that afternoon and seeing my little guy look like this.

I wasn’t able to hold him for a few more hours. At this point he was on a CPAP and they said as long as he was doing well on that he would not need to be intubated. The tube in his mouth was a feeding tube but they were actually using it to release the pressure from his belly. Since the CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) forces air in, they said it would give him gas unless they helped remove it. The leads on his chest were for his heartrate and respiration rate monitors. The duck was for temperature control, since he was under a warmer. His whole right arm was wrapped so that he couldn’t pull his IV out of his hand. He was getting fluids through the IV most of the day and then the antibiotics just twice a day. His foot had a pulse ox monitor. At first his oxygen saturation levels were around 85-90% I think, whereas ideal is 99/100.

It is so hard to not just stare at the monitors all the time. There is constant beeping and then just watch the numbers skyrocket or drop. In his case, typically his RR would go way high (what should have been 25-40 would shoot up to 80+) and his oxygen sats would drop to the 80s. Sometimes the nurses would rush over and adjust him, other times they would just poke a button on the monitor and tell me not to worry about it. They kept saying, “Don’t watch the monitors, watch your baby. You can tell how he is doing by watching him.”

I think that first day, I got to hold him once in the afternoon, and once in the evening when my mom came up. He was not allowed to be held by anyone other than me or Jonathon because he was “too sick” which was heartbreaking to hear.

I went down to see him one last time before bed, and I just stood next to his crib and cried.

So this week has been fun…

Filed Under Allergies, Are you kidding me?, Asthma, Difficult Stuff, Doctor Stuff, Firsts, Sick, Two Years Old | 8 Comments

We started out with a visit to the pediatrician on Monday because Bailey had trouble breathing during the night. Once again, her lungs were fine, ears were fine, nose was fine, etc and no explanation for the breathing or chronic coughing. They assume it’s her allergies again. Meanwhile I am getting much less sleep than I need to be.

Tuesday her coughing seemed to be getting worse. Then Tuesday night she fell and busted her head open… resulting in an ambulance ride and a night at the hospital. The reason we called the ambulance- other than the massive bleeding- was because she started falling asleep right away. I actually sat on my front porch to make sure the ambulance could find us. It’s funny the things you do when you panic. I had the sense to change my shirt and grab my phone and charger on the way out the door too. The police and firetruck showed up first because the ambulance came from another district. She started calming down right away because she was excited about all the sirens and lights. Silly girl. We rode with the lights on but not the siren because they didn’t want to scare her. She had to sit on my lap on the stretcher- the other option was them strapping her down alone which was just not going to happen.

They were able to use glue instead of stitches or staples on her injury. I was glad because it is supposed to scar less. The worst part was holding her down to get it washed out- it took the doctor, two nurses, and Jonathon and me to do it. Then after we were released she started throwing up so we had to spend the night at the hospital. Several drugs, an IV, and a ct-scan later, we were released. Her results were all normal and we were told to keep her head dry for a few days, limit her activity, and don’t let her bump anything. That was Wednesday morning so my mom picked her up and let Jonathon and I sleep and get stuff done around the house.

By the way if anyone knows how to get blood out of your carpet, please let me know. Of course it’s right at the top of our stairs near the entryway. I have gotten it to fade but not a whole lot. I have been looking for something also to pad our doorway with. She needs some kind of fall protection or corner guards. The spot where she hit her head was in the doorway to our kitchen. It’s one of those cut out doorways that doesn’t have a door frame in it- basically drywall with metal in the corners or something. Probably the hardest place she could possibly have hit her head of course. So we need to fix that. The things that you don’t think of babyproofing until your child gets hurt…

Wednesday she seemed to be recovering from the head injury but she started coughing until she threw up. Back to the pediatrician on Thursday morning about the coughing (again) and to get her head checked. Her ped ran a test and had us do a chest x ray. The conclusion is that she most likely has cough-variant asthma which would explain why she coughs all night long for weeks at a time. We are borrowing a nebulizer for two weeks and if that stops the coughing then we will talk about a preventative treatment plan and visit a specialist. They think it is allergy-induced because it’s much much worse in spring and fall, and seems to come along with a runny nose. Yesterday we did her breathing treatments every four hours, once during the night, and today we have spaced them back to every six hours. She has only coughed a handful of times (even in the night) since starting them. So I think this is working!

As much as I hate for my child to have asthma- it could be SO much worse. I know someone whose three year old just got diagnosed with CF, and I kept thinking of all the crazy things that could be causing the coughing. I am thankful to have an answer and that it is getting better now.

The first few treatments, she hated it. Now she will hold the mask herself if I let her sit in front of the tv while we do it. That’s a small price to pay to avoid two of us holding her down for the entire treatment!

Another Day…

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Outings, Sensory Processing Disorder, Two Years Old | 1 Comment

At Grant’s Farm! It’s only open on Friday/Sat/Sunday now through the end of October so we are making the most of the time we have there. I have heard rumors about them not opening next year because of the AB buyout. So sad, but who knows… they said they wouldn’t open this year and they did.

Riding the tram with Kenzie

Here is Bailey in front of a fence. This is significant because she loves to CLIMB these fences and has fallen into the chicken pen and the guinea pig pen multiple times because she leans over too far.

We went on the carousel after Bailey talked me into it. She has a really hard time with motion (like carousels, swings etc) because of her vestibular dysfunction. I knew she would hate it but I didn’t want to tell her no because I don’t want to limit what she thinks she’s capable of… if that makes sense… so we went on the carousel. For about a week afterwards all she would tell me was “I go up and down on the carousel. I too scary carousel!” Broke my heart. Here she is just a second before the panic set in, though:

I hate that she can’t do what her friends do. She wants to. She is so brave and such a happy little girl but I just don’t want anything to hold her back. It’s like when she runs and crashes into things on purpose… people stare and I just want to say LOOK HOW GOOD SHE IS! DON’T STARE AT HER!! She is perfect to me. And when she tells me “I too wiggly, Mommy” it always makes me smile.

But back to our day at Grant’s Farm before I get myself upset.

Emily and Ella, and Jen and Wyatt were also there with us but I didn’t get any pictures of them. I am bad about forgetting to get my camera out once I get busy!

Later that day, I put Bailey’s hair into what we call “a big girl ponytail” for the first time. (a.k.a. one ponytail in the back instead of pigtails. Not my favorite because she looks too grown up!)

Tuesday Toot- Therapy is Tough!

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Memes, O.T., Two Years Old | 4 Comments

I have been taking Bailey to see an occupational therapist for over two months now. Her eating has improved SO much. There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes, though. It’s a time commitment: Twice a week I drive about 20-25 minutes each way to get to her therapist’s office, wait 45 minutes for her appointment, listen to her cry in the other room… It takes time away from “fun” activities that we could be doing and also interrupts our schedule. It costs a stinkin lot of money. Today I even initiated a difficult conversation with our therapist and got some answers to questions I had. But I do it because I love Bailey. I want her to get better and to be able to eat normally, play and focus on “normal” activities, etc.

I think as moms we can be hard on ourselves. Take time to think about something that you have accomplished lately. It’s not bragging; we just need to acknowledge our hard work and it’s good to feel good about it! To read about what other moms have done, visit Mommy Community.

Wagie Ride for Tuesday

Filed Under Difficult Stuff | 11 Comments

***A little while back, I started following this blog. They lost their beautiful daughter just this week.

On Saturday, February 7th at 11:00 a.m., the Whitt Family is holding a celebration in Parker, Colorado. They’re having a wagon and bike parade to honor Tuesday with one of her favorite things to do – “wagie rides.”

We all can’t be there physically, but we can be there in spirit.

The goal is to create a virtual parade for Tuesday, to show her family and friends how her brief life touched so many. I know it did.

So here is a picture of us doing a wagie ride.

Officer Down/ I hate cop killers

Filed Under Difficult Stuff | 8 Comments

This was so shocking to hear about early on Saturday morning. We had such a fun Halloween. We spent time at Jonathon’s work on Friday. Less than 24 hours later, we found out one of his coworkers husbands was killed. We had been laughing with her and she took some pictures of Bailey. She was so happy, and everything was so normal. That night her husband, a police officer in a nearby suburb, was shot and killed while on duty.

From KSDK website– A University City police officer has died after being shot Friday night. Police have identified the officer as 50-year old Sgt. Michael King, a 25 year veteran with the department. Now Police are searching for his killer.

Sgt. King the 4th officer killed in the line of duty in the history of the University City Police Department. The last officer killed was more than 30 years ago in 1976.

Flutteries in my Tummy

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Disney Vacation | 4 Comments

As our vacation gets closer I am thinking more and more about the planning I need to do. My mom is going to be staying at our house so part of me is freaking out about cleaning. Organizing cabinets, hiding stuff I don’t want her to see, scrubbing the kitchen floor. I also have to shop and make sure there is plenty of easy food for Bailey and also some fresh fruit and stuff cut up in the fridge and all that. Dishes clean, laundry clean etc before we go.

I am working on a schedule for my mom- not like I am forcing her to do a certain schedule but more like so she knows when Bailey has classes and stuff like that and when a friend of mine is going to come pick her up for the evening. Notes about Tylenol doses and where to find loveys and teethers and the special diaper cream. All the little things that Mommy does every day and I want to make sure someone else does the same thing. It is beyond me how people can leave their kid at daycare, I think I would fall apart. I know Bailey could not possibly be in better hands than with my mom. It’s not that. It’s that it won’t be ME doing these things for her, for almost a full week.

Will she miss me? Will she care? Will she wonder if I’m not coming back? Will I miss her so much I can’t stand it? I think JOnathon and I will have a great time but I am worried that when we’re not busy my heart will just be so sad. My little Buggy and I will be apart for the longest time ever. I hope Grammy gives her so many kisses and tells her I love her and shows her my pictures and tells her I am coming back. And when I get back? I hope Bailey is as happy as I am.

How can I leave this little face?

It will be okay. I know it will be, deep down. I just can’t think for too long about Bailey, I have to think about Jonathon. And all the fun stuff we will be doing.

Something the prince never knew

Filed Under Celebrities, Difficult Stuff, Video | 6 Comments

I have been crying this morning. Steven Curtis Chapman lost his daughter in a tragic accident. Here is an excerpt from a Chicago Tribune article:

The 5-year-old daughter of Grammy-winning Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman was struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle driven by her brother, authorities said.

The girl, Maria Sue, was hit in the driveway of the family’s home Wednesday afternoon by a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by her teenage brother, said Laura McPherson, a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.

The brother, whose name and exact age weren’t available, apparently did not see the girl, McPherson said. No charges are expected.

“It looks like a tragic accident,” she said.

For those of you who know us well, you know that this just hits a little too close to home. Jonathon was the one to call and tell me about it this morning.

This is the daughter that Steven Curtis Chapman wrote the song “Cinderella” about.

The words even say, “She spins and she sways to whatever song plays, without a care in the world. And I’m sitting here bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders. It’s been a long day and there’s still work to do. She’s pulling at me saying, ‘Dad, I need you. There’s a ball at the castle, and I’ve been invited. And I need to practice my dancing. So please, Daddy, please…’

So I’ll dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. Because I know something the prince never knew. Oh I’ll dance with Cinderella; I don’t want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight… and she’ll be gone.’

She says he’s a nice guy, I’d be impressed. She wants to know if I approve of the dress. She says ‘Daddy, the prom’s just one week away, and I need to practice my dancing.’

So I’ll dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. For I know something the prince never knew. So I’ll dance with Cinderella, I don’t want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight… and she’ll be gone. She will be gone.

She came home today, with a ring on her hand. Just glowing and telling us all they had planned. She says, ‘Dad, the wedding’s still six months away. But I need to practice my dancing. So please, Daddy, please…’

So I’ll dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. For I know something the prince never knew. So I’ll dance with Cinderella; I don’t want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight… and she’ll be gone.”

Thank God that he understood how quickly time goes by. I know he never dreamed this would happen, but he was very aware that they may not have forever. I hope he cherished every moment with his daughter. I hope he stopped to dance with her whenever she asked. And I hope this is a reminder to all of us to slow down and enjoy each dance. We never know when the clock will strike midnight.

One of those days

Filed Under Being a Mom, Difficult Stuff, Eleven Months, Shopping | 4 Comments

You know, the ones where your child refuses to sleep? Yep, that was our day today. This morning was fine. Bailey slept in a little later than usual, and then we went to the mall to pick up her amazingly cute 11 month/Easter/spring pictures.

We met my friend Sarah there and ate lunch. If you have ever eaten at the mall food court with me, you know what I ate. Subway- I alternate between a veggie on wheat and a Subway club on white. Either one gets toasted. Bailey and her friend Andrew (who is about 14 months old) shared raisins and picked at a few other things. I am pretty sure Bailey could exist on raisins alone if we allowed her too. Although, I am wondering- if she doesn’t chew them and they come out whole, does she get any nutrition at all from them?

Anyway, after lunch we took them to play at the play area. This one weird little girl who was two or three kept following Bailey around and touching her/pushing her/grabbing her face. The girl was with either her grandma or nanny or something, and this woman watched her but never said anything. So I was trying to be polite and say stuff like, “Be nice to the baby…” but finally we were around the corner from the caregiver-lady and the little girl started being grabby. I looked at her and made a stern face and said, “You leave her alone!” I just hate when people don’t watch or stay involved with their kids when there are other little ones around. It shouldn’t be my place to deal with someone else’s kid when they are right there, and it’s awkward to try to figure out what to do.

I returned something at Gymboree and looked quickly at the Children’s Place sale racks, but nothing interesting. I am having a hard time finding stuff for myself lately so I didn’t really even look. A lot of the styles now look like maternity clothing, and like my friend Nicole just wrote about, I am afraid people will think I’m knocked up again

Once we got home, Bailey did her new trick of pooping in bed. I am pretty sure she has it figured out that I will come get her and change her diaper. Then just about the time she was falling asleep, stupid Laclede Gas started drilling down the street from us For like an hour. Once they were done Bailey was still so ticked off that she cried for like an hour and nothing would console her until we just drove around aimlessly in the car.

It was just a frustrating day, and then once I got home from working childcare at church tonight, Jonathon got on my case about a million different things. I was practically begging him to help with Bailey because I was so tired of dealing with her (13 hours straight with not even a break for nap) and I thought it would have killed him to help with her bath. I know he was at work all day, but then he had almost three hours to himself after work before we got home. And sometimes momma needs a break too.

Why am I sad?

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Doctor Stuff, Weight | 9 Comments

I got my blood work results back from the doctor. Everything’s fine. No thyroid problems, no anemia, no blood sugar issues… so basically, I am fat and lazy for no reason. I almost wish there was a reason, so we could just fix it. Seriously, I am exhausted all the time. She said we can talk about the possibility of depression or anxiety, or a sleep disorder. Great. I can hardly wait until my appointment next month.

The Terrible Horrible Awful Day

Filed Under Difficult Stuff, Pediatrician, Sick, Ten Months | 4 Comments

Today we took Bailey to the ped for a cough- she has another ear infection. They are guessing that since there was still fluid at her re-check from her first one, it got infected more easily again. So then we waited AN HOUR at the grocery store for her prescriptions- antibiotic and the damn prescription cold meds that you can’t buy OTC anymore. That’s a rant for another day.

So we get home and Jonathon decides he’s going to go to work for a few hours. I gave B a bath and then sat her down outside the bathroom so that she could go in the living room and play while I went in our bathroom to poop. THUD. Jonathon didn’t close the baby gate when he left. She rolled down like six stairs and hit the front door at the bottom. Went to pick her up and she was crying so hard she wasn’t making any noise- that’s the worst kind of cry After nursing her for a minute or two I got her settle down and she already had a huge lump on the side of her head. I called Jonathon hysterical and he turned around and came home and proceeded to yell at me for not checking if the gate was closed.

We called the ped (now for the 3rd time today cuz we also had to call from the grocery store) and she had us check pupils, swelling, movement, etc and asked about whether she cried right away and stuff. Bailey seems to be totally fine other than a bump but it was seriously the scaries thing I have ever had happen. I know that was so stupid on our part and it just happened so fast. Please make a habit of closing your baby gates even if the baby is in bed or not in that room. Jonathon thought she was going straight to nap so didn’t close it

She cries when I leave

Filed Under Daddy, Difficult Stuff, Friends, Nine Months | 3 Comments

One thing that shocks me is that my formerly so independent baby CANNOT cope when I leave the room. We are suddenly struggling again with naptime, only this time she stands in the corner of her crib and screams at the top of her lungs. No tears. When I enter the room, she stops and waves. Ya right kid. If I leave the living room while she’s playing, she cries. I have to keep talking to her and walk slowly enough that she can follow me. I can’t sit her on the floor if I am still standing. I have to sit first and THEN put her on the floor or she thinks I am just dumping her there.

I leave her places fairly often, like with Jonathon or my parents or church nursery twice a week. A few times she has been left with a friend of mine. I guess since I am home with her all day, she is used to having me there anyway. I finally finished cleaning out my office so that she can play in here while I list on eBay or check email. She is slowly learning to play nearby and hopefully eventually will even let me leave the room to pee on my own. It’s just a hard phase. Everyone warns that separation anxiety hits at nine months.

Last night I went to church to work in the nursery during Awanas and when I left home, Bailey freaked out. I kissed her and Jonathon goodbye, tried not to make a big deal at all, and said “Be good for Daddy, I’ll be home in a little bit.” She cried and cried, and she was in the middle of eating dinner so he wasn’t having much luck distracting her. I called about five minutes later and I could still hear her fussing but he said she stopped soon after that. Normally she comes with me to the nursery when I work on Wednesdays but I wanted to make sure she was completely well first. I guess it’s good for her to have more time away from mommy. We will practice that more in the near future, I hope. Like tonight, when I go to dinner ALONE with my friend Sarah.