Avon Happenings

Filed Under Avon, Being a Mom, This Rocks, Thoughts | 3 Comments

I think a while ago I might have posted that one of my customers was going to sign up to sell Avon. Which puts me into “leadership” if I want to be… which I do! Since that happened a few weeks ago, I now have four people signed up who are selling Avon. That’s exciting because it helps me to advance and eventually will help MY earnings too!

Last week our new division manager came in town. She came to my house with MY district manager for a meeting. Then after that, we went and had another meeting at a restaurant, so we ended up spending about four hours together. I felt like I got to know both of them a lot better and I am more comfortable asking my manager for help with different things. I also think she sees how hard I am working now… or at least I hope she does! I set a few new goals for myself, one of which I have ALMOST met and one of which I need to reach by February-ish.

I guess I am starting to see this as more of a career and not just a little side job. Not that it can be a full-time career right now (because I want to be a SAHM still and have my focus on Bailey) but I can develop it into a career for when the kids are in school. I like seeing potential in something since I struggle with feeling like “just a mom” some days. And I want Bailey to see me working hard toward something and making accomplishments, even if it is not in a 9 to 5 type job.

Just For Today

Filed Under Being a Mom | 3 Comments

This is from an email sent to me by Sarah:

JUST FOR TODAY

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over
the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes
in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles…

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once,
not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for thi s afternoon, I will let you help me
bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my
arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in
the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV sho ws..

*Just for this evening when I run my finger
through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers And fathers who
are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms, and
mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can’t handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you
a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day……………

Catch You Later

Filed Under Being a Mom | 5 Comments

My mom is picking B up in about fifteen minutes to give me the day “off” today I have big plans to go to the library and Hobby Lobby and grocery store, and to go out to lunch by myself- which is one of my favorite things to do- and get caught up on celeb gossip via People and Us Weekly. And then I think I am going to go lay out at the pool if it doesn’t get too hot- makes me seriously consider wieght loss pills since I am not excited about wearing a swimsuit- but the good part is I don’t know ANYONE who will be there today A wonderful day of nothing important. I’ll post again tonight. I have things I want to write about and pics to post, of course.

Obsessed

Filed Under Being a Mom, Thoughts, Travel | 4 Comments

I need help. Someone please force me to stop looking at vacation packages online. Tonight I almost booked the three of us a lovely trip to Disney World this fall. Until Jonathon reminded me that Bailey couldn’t go on any rides, and one of us would be stuck holding her on a bench while the other did the rides. Yeah, that sucks. So then I fantasized about leaving Bailey behind with my parents as Jonathon and I took a five or so night trip to somewhere sunny.

Problem is, mid summer is not ideal for Mexico. Fall is even worse. And Caribbean in the fall? Forget it. I think we might just look ahead and book something for LATE fall, later on. If we could leave, you know, on Friday we could get an amazing deal. I’m ready to pack us up and go. I wonder if Jonathon could abandon his job at short notice. If not, I could go alone. Right? Right? Tell me I’m not crazy to want to pack my bags and go to Mexico alone. Who would I hang out with? The fat hairy guy at the swim up bar? It’s not like I can chat up the bartender, he won’t speak much English.

Yeah, I might need a companion. That sucks. Anyone want to go on a last minute vacation with me? Or have me come visit you in another city? Or meet me somewhere in another city for a weekend? I think I just need out of here, I need a break from mamamamamamama all the time. Did I mention Bailey bit my toe today? Really hard. And she has decided not to listen to me, at all. We need a little break from each other. I love her, but I will love her more after I don’t see her for a few days. Absence making the heart grow fonder, and all that.

This is Love

Filed Under Being a Mom, Twelve Months | 8 Comments

She is the part of me that I never knew was missing until I met her. She filled up that empty spot in my heart. I love her.

One of those days

Filed Under Being a Mom, Difficult Stuff, Eleven Months, Shopping | 4 Comments

You know, the ones where your child refuses to sleep? Yep, that was our day today. This morning was fine. Bailey slept in a little later than usual, and then we went to the mall to pick up her amazingly cute 11 month/Easter/spring pictures.

We met my friend Sarah there and ate lunch. If you have ever eaten at the mall food court with me, you know what I ate. Subway- I alternate between a veggie on wheat and a Subway club on white. Either one gets toasted. Bailey and her friend Andrew (who is about 14 months old) shared raisins and picked at a few other things. I am pretty sure Bailey could exist on raisins alone if we allowed her too. Although, I am wondering- if she doesn’t chew them and they come out whole, does she get any nutrition at all from them?

Anyway, after lunch we took them to play at the play area. This one weird little girl who was two or three kept following Bailey around and touching her/pushing her/grabbing her face. The girl was with either her grandma or nanny or something, and this woman watched her but never said anything. So I was trying to be polite and say stuff like, “Be nice to the baby…” but finally we were around the corner from the caregiver-lady and the little girl started being grabby. I looked at her and made a stern face and said, “You leave her alone!” I just hate when people don’t watch or stay involved with their kids when there are other little ones around. It shouldn’t be my place to deal with someone else’s kid when they are right there, and it’s awkward to try to figure out what to do.

I returned something at Gymboree and looked quickly at the Children’s Place sale racks, but nothing interesting. I am having a hard time finding stuff for myself lately so I didn’t really even look. A lot of the styles now look like maternity clothing, and like my friend Nicole just wrote about, I am afraid people will think I’m knocked up again

Once we got home, Bailey did her new trick of pooping in bed. I am pretty sure she has it figured out that I will come get her and change her diaper. Then just about the time she was falling asleep, stupid Laclede Gas started drilling down the street from us For like an hour. Once they were done Bailey was still so ticked off that she cried for like an hour and nothing would console her until we just drove around aimlessly in the car.

It was just a frustrating day, and then once I got home from working childcare at church tonight, Jonathon got on my case about a million different things. I was practically begging him to help with Bailey because I was so tired of dealing with her (13 hours straight with not even a break for nap) and I thought it would have killed him to help with her bath. I know he was at work all day, but then he had almost three hours to himself after work before we got home. And sometimes momma needs a break too.

Tuesday Toot- Hobbies

Filed Under Being a Mom | 1 Comment

Right now I am proud of myself that I have continued to enjoy some hobbies of mine. I have been making more of a point of having “me time” and reading. Books, magazines, whatever. I have also been working on my Avon sales, which have started taking off and doing better within the past two campaigns. It feels good to do something for myself. I haven’t been as active on my mommy board online lately, and I haven’t blogged as much or commented as much lately, but I have been doing things for myself. And that’s okay. I need a life outside of being a mom.

Mixed Emotions About Upcoming 11 Month Post

Filed Under Being a Mom, Ten Months, Thoughts | 6 Comments

I am mentally preparing myself for writing her eleven month post tomorrow… and slightly freaking out that it’s her last monthly post before she is a whole YEAR old! So bittersweet. She is turning into such an amazing little person, but she’s just growing way too fast. Sometimes I like to dress her “babyish” because she’s still my little baby, but other times I want her to be a big girl and look… I don’t know, not like a baby. I am torn.

Here she is on one of those days. Dressed so grown up that she breaks my heart. I mean, my kid cannot possibly be big enough to wear jeans and a t-shirt. But she is. And she looks good. A little too grown up, but good.

Some good, some bad

Filed Under Being a Mom, Friends, Grandparents, Thoughts, classes | 2 Comments

Today Jonathon didn’t want to get up for church so I took Bailey and let him stay home, since I had to work in the nursery first hour anyway. While I was gone, he cleaned, vacuumed, and… rearranged our bedroom. Some of you know that he has a history of doing random things like this. Sometimes, it’s really annoying. However I actually LIKE what he did with our room. He also let me rest for a while this afternoon since he had the morning “off.”

I am realizing that we have a very high maintenance kid. Not like her attitude, but just her energy level. She always has to be doing something. She’s been like this since she was tiny. She has a good attention span, she just needs to be occupied or she gets herself into trouble. Take yesterday- we had to move the old entertainment center so we closed her in her bedroom door for about five minutes. In that time she emptied her toy box, book box, and every drawer and cabinet in her dresser. She loves to make messes. She goes, at top speed, all day long. I think this is why it’s so exhausting to take care of her.

Tonight we met with our small group. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with that… my feelings were kind of hurt tonight and I don’t want to get into it here, but it might be time for us to find a new group or not be in a group at all. At this point, either of those options would be fine with me. But we have a while to think about it. My parents watched Bailey and she did great. They used to always want her to come to their house, but they are starting to realize it’s easier to watch her here, where they have everything she could possibly need. I understand on nights when we’re out late, they like to be at their house so they can go to bed or work on the computer or whatever… but for early nights, it’s nice for us not to have to take her home and put her to bed all over again. Because, once she wakes up she thinks it’s party time and we have to re-do her bedtime routine. Also I have discovered that it will be easier to lure them over here now that we have our new tv

Tomorrow, I am looking forward to getting together with my friend Sarah and her little boy Andrew for a playdate. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve hung out together and now that Bailey is better, I am excited for her to get to play with a friend again. And, I am even more excited to get to hang out with Sarah :)  Also, tomorrow evening Bailey has a music class that Jonathon gets to go to with us! He hasn’t been to any classes with us that I can think of, so this should be fun. he will get to see what a wild woman she is in a room full of other babies! She is always the busiest, noisiest one who won’t stay by their mom. It will be interesting for him to see her in that situation.

Anyway, I’m going to bed. To catch my 7 hours. I need to be getting more sleep I think, but my only “me time” is after Bailey goes to bed.

Just thinking

Filed Under Being a Mom, Breastfeeding, Ten Months | Leave a Comment

After Bailey woke up from her nap we were laying in my bed together. We were side by side, facing each other. She was nursing, and her little legs were rubbing against my thighs as she wiggled. It made me think about her fitting inside my tummy. That seems like such an impossibility then… but back then, it seemed impossible to imagine her as a real baby. It’s just funny how our reality changes as life changes. And it’s almost impossible to remember how things were “before.” I know I was very happy and carefree before, but it’s strange to think that I could have been happy without her. She just seems such a part of my world- like a piece that completes me- and I don’t know what I did before. Then when she finished eating, we laid there and poked at each other and laughed and snuggled. Nothing could be better.

So I guess my ten month post sappiness just kicked in late. LOL

On another note, I would not mind getting some fitness equipment, seeing as I have not dragged my butt to the gym in like a month and this whole breastfeeding this just is NOT helping with weight loss like it’s supposed to. I am reminded of that when Bailey grabs my belly. Ick.

Just a quick brag

Filed Under Being a Mom, Daddy, Gifts, This Rocks | 7 Comments

This one’s about my husband. For Valentine’s Day, he gave me a new day planner. (I had actually been wanting one). When he gave it to me, he was like “What’s the date today?” I opened it to the 14th, and a piece of paper fell out. He had made four coupons for a DAY TO MYSELF where he will watch Bailey all day and I can sleep or read or leave the house all day and do whatever I want. He also said if I wanted a weekday he could take the day off work. He has like a million vacation days. I don’t think I would ask him to do that, but I am definitely going to take him up on this VERY SOON!

He gives me time to get stuff done and never minds watching Bailey. But I always feel like he is watching her so I can go get something done. I feel guilty just taking time away to relax. Like I am slacking and “sticking him” with the kid by himself. I shouldn’t feel that way; I know he loves here and it’s his responsibility too. The Mommy Guilt thing is just so hard sometimes. I feel the need to be there, all the time, making sure EVERYTHING gets done (my way).

Anyway, that was the best gift he could have given me. Well that and some hot lovin’ of course Um… yeah.

Tomorrow is my day off!

Filed Under Being a Mom, Nine Months, Shopping | 5 Comments

This morning I called Jonathon and said, “I just wanted to let you know, I am taking tomorrow off. I will be leaving soon after I wake up, and I’ll be home by five.”

LOL this followed on the tail of an argument we had at about 4 a.m. and me saying that I JUST NEED A BREAK! He said he would be willing to give me a break but I never let him know when. Sure I get breaks here and there to meet a friend for dinner or to do things that need to be done like grocery shopping or Avon or (total necessity here) blogging. But I just want a day for me. Maybe that’s selfish and maybe not. I think it makes me a better mother, when I have time for myself and can relax. I come back so anxious to cuddle with Bailey and do everything with her.

So far my plans tomorrow include going to the gym, returning some stuff at Kohl’s, and getting a new book at the library and sitting and Bread Company and reading. At some point my friend Faith is meeting up with me there for coffee.

And of course I can’t sign off without sharing some new pics of my Bug in her Pooh dress.




Jonathon should be excited about watching her. I love it, I feel like anyone should be honored to watch MY kid He’d probably do almost anything to put off doing his performance management stuff for work.

9 Months Old

Filed Under Being a Mom, Milestones, Nine Months, Talking, Thoughts | 10 Comments

My darling girl, where have these nine months gone? There are so many memories forever engraved on my mind, but it has just flown by way too fast. That’s why today, I held you a little longer. I didn’t rush to put you in bed and get something done. I feel like my time of holding you while you sleep is already limited.

I know it hasn’t all been easy (nap battles, stomach flu, non-stop nursing…) but I can honestly say that being your mother has been the best thing I have ever done.

You are doing so much now. Within the past month, you started clapping (first silently, with closed fists, but now you make the cutest little slap-slap sound). You started waving right after Christmas. You are standing and cruising along everything: The couch, entertainment center, your activity table… You like to let go and try to balance on your own for a few seconds but you fall on your bottom pretty fast.

You get into everything now. Just this morning, you were in the living room playing and I realized you were too quiet. I came in and found you with an index card. There were itty bitty pieces of it stuck on your chin, on your hands, and all over your jammies. You reached in your mouth and pulled out a piece, then stretched out your arm to hand it to me and share. I love your thoughtfulness. You also like to share your toys (for now!) and food, whether it’s been in your mouth already or not.

Did you know that we officially reached another breastfeeding milestone? When you were biting and having a hard time staying focused, I promised myself I wouldn’t give up before nine months. And we worked through it together. Now when I nurse you in the morning, you lay next to me in bed all stretched out. Your toes poke into my thighs now. You’ve gotten so long. Occasionally you look over to check for Daddy. If he’s already up getting ready for work, you will settle back down and snuggle longer. But if Daddy is in bed, forget it. You’re ready to play, and he’s much more fun than Mommy!

You are “talking” more and more. You consistently say Dada (although not directed at Daddy), ba ba, ga ga, and your newest is VUV! Vuv is always said with enthusiasm. Just today you heard a dog barking outside and said, “Woof.” It was so clear. I guess that’s your first word. You are in love with dogs, and chase Koby and Tiny (grandparents and great-grandparents’ dogs) whenever we visit. You also love pictures of dogs, and any stuffed animals.

I think those are the highlights of the new things you have been doing, although I feel like I am cheating you to just sum up a whole month in one post. I hope you always know how much I love you. If I could have one wish, it would be that you would know without a doubt how deep, complete, and forever my love is for you.

Love, Mommy

Our nine month photo shoot… complete with carrots in her nose

Nothing to see here

Filed Under Being a Mom, Complaining | 8 Comments

I am kind of blah. I have nothing to post, without just whining. I am disappointed with my friends right now. Not anyone in particular, really… just feeling like I don’t have many *good* friends has gotten to me. Like no one to pick up the phone and call when I’ve had a bad day, or when something great happens. Yeah, I have my mom and Jonathon, but that’s about it lately. Jonathon says I’m doing this to myself, isolating myself. There are certain people who I have repeatedly asked to hang out, yet we never get together. I guess I should get the hint, but my point to him is that I AM TRYING!

Tonight I went to a Christmas party that my friend Jen hosted. Quite a few of our friends never bothered to RSVP. It seems lately that nobody cares about anything. Then, there were some who RSVP’d and didn’t show up. I guess I was just disappointed with that, too.

I know it’s not going to be like high school or college, ever again, but I just want some friends I can count on. Who I can go out with and do nothing, just sit and talk. I hate talking about Bailey to my friends without kids, because I feel like they get sick of hearing about her. But, she is such a huge part of my life. My friends with kids, they never seem available. It’s always something… their kid is tired, they have things to do, etc. Well, me personally, when Bailey is crabby I would much rather get out of the house than sit home and be irritated with her.

Being a mom can be really lonely, too. Can’t go out to whatever party, because there isn’t anyone free to watch the baby. Everyone else is hanging out, but you are in the other room nursing. Nothing done around the house because the baby is having a fit. Some days I feel like Bailey is so all-consuming, and all I do is BE a mom. If that makes any sense. I want to be a wife and a friend and a person, too. Sometimes, I don’t have much to contribute to conversations, except like “Hey, I cleaned my bathroom today and Bailey ate her peas.” Thrilling for everyone to hear.

Sometimes I think, am I that much of a bitch? Am I that boring? Am I annoying? Seriously, what is the problem? Is it me, or is it people in our life stage right now? Does anybody have time for each other these days? Gah, I am just really bummed out lately. Don’t mind me.

Rejoining the work force

Filed Under Being a Mom, Future, Thoughts | 2 Comments

Sometimes I think about it. Daydream about it- you know, like the grass is always greener on the other side. The other day, I was sitting at a table with my friend Jen, and she was talking to someone about masters programs and their jobs/career field. Sometimes I want that. I don’t want to leave my baby, but I feel like I am ONLY a wife and a mom sometimes. That should be enough, and most days it is. It’s just nice to know that sometime in the future, there will be an identity outside of that again. I will most likely go back to work once the kids are all in school. I would like to either finish my masters program (Speech Comm) or get a different degree. One that keeps entering my mind is social work, because that would open a lot more doors to the type of non-profit work I want to do. My current degree is in Public Relations. I’m sure by that point I will have to learn new human resources software and all kinds of other stuff. I might even finally have to start using Raiser’s Edge!

This probably sounds dorky but I have always somewhat enjoyed school/classes and it came fairly easily to me- so I wouldn’t mind going back again. Someday waaaaay down the road