Status Quo

Filed Under Money, Postpartum Depression, Thoughts | 10 Comments

I started off pretty irritated a few hours ago. It was just one of those days. We went to library story time (which was really fun) and then I found out I had a $5 fine from a book I forgot I had. I delivered some Avon and it was freezing cold out, so I left Bailey in the car as I ran up to people’s doors. So she wasn’t thrilled with me. I got home and she dumped out her entire case (yes, case) of ponytail rubberbands and mixed all the colors together. They had been nicely divided into compartments. Then she ate a few of them.

But the icing on the cake? My request to lower my deductible for our health insurance was denied. You have got to be freaking kidding me. Well, it was accepted if I want to pay $130 a month more, since I have now been labeled with a mental illness. Because I got treatment for postpartum depression. I don’t understand what is wrong with these insurance companies. Would they rather that I DIDN’T get treated and then had to be checked into a psych hospital? Oh also I found out that is the reason my premium went up when B was six months old. They just screw you from every direction. It makes me hesitant to ever go to the doctor for anything again, because then it’s a preexisting condition that they can hold against you. She told me after 12 months I can apply again. I told her to forget it, that I would just keep what I had and that they were jerks. Seriously. Mental illness? Can they really find anything and use it as an excuse? That is scary. Also I have to say that I have never had a doctor’s visit because of the postpartum depression, and I have never even taken a name brand medication for it.

So I got off the phone and cried and called Jonathon to complain. I really do think our country has healthcare issues. It is sad when a family at our income level has to struggle to pay for health insurance. I am not saying that we are wealthy by any means, but Jonathon has a decent, salaried job and benefits (although it’s too expensive to add B and I to his insurance) and we own a house in a nice-ish area. What do people who have less than us do? Oh and I also know some people who work the system- you know, they get Medicaid or whatever but yet they are stay at home moms. If you are too poor to get insurance, maybe you should get a part time job. But that is neither here nor there- just evidence that our system is flawed. It’s sad that when you do things the right way, you come in last.

Then through my tears and frustration, I realized something. We are so incredibly blessed. I know that sounds trite, but we have SO MUCH. I can look around me and our house is filled with things we love. Maybe we can’t afford a Wii for Christmas, but look at all the things we DO have. How many families would love to trade with us. (Please know that I am not saying this to brag, I do my clothes shopping at Kohls’ for goodness sakes). And I complain about our insurance deductible but it was worth every penny to have Bailey. She’s even paid off now! I say that half joking. Over the course of our lifetime, $2500 is so insignificant. Even if it seems huge now, our lives are about so much more than that.

I complain that we can’t get affordable insurance through Jonathon’s work. Thank God that he has a job. I am so NOT Pollyanna-ish and do not always look at the bright side, so for me to have revelations like this, well it’s a big deal. I am thankful that he has a job that is stable. he is not in an industry where they are cutting jobs or departments or losing clients. His work couldn’t really function without him, and he is the ONLY one who does what he does. Thank God for that. I am so glad that he didn’t listen to my nagging over the past few years and get a job in the corporate world. He could have made a little more and then lost his job with a company that went under. All those prayers of mine that he would find a new job? They didn’t go unanswered. God answered them by taking better care of us than we knew how to do. By keeping Jonathon where he is.

Just today I found out about a friend whose husband lost his job, and a single mom who lost her job. I wish that I could find jobs for them; I hate to see people hurting like that. But I am glad that I had a wake up call to notice all the blessings in my life. And to just be content with what I have now, instead of always wanting something more or better. Our insurance wasn’t ideal when we had Bailey, but it worked. If we get pregnant again and STILL have this insurance, it will work again. We don’t need more than what we have. We are blessed beyond measure.

***NOTE: I am not pregnant. I know if I don’t say that up front I will be getting questions. We DO NOT have any plans to get pregnant again soon. It might happen, but it’s not at the top of my list right now. We plan to have more children someday, and that is why I talk about maternity coverage.

Comments

10 Comments so far

Jan on November 20, 2008 3:53 pm
I love this post. You are right. We ought to be reflecting on what we have because right about now there are plenty that don’t have a lot of essential stuff. Hebrews 13:5 and all.

Did your Etsy site go away? I was looking and can’t see a link for it here.
Jennifer on November 20, 2008 4:17 pm
You know I agree with you on the stay at home moms who are on medicaid yet still manage to make extravagant purchases.

Glad you see the positive side with your many blessings!
Casey on November 20, 2008 5:20 pm
I’m impressed that you were able to see the blessing behind all of that. Not that I didn’t think you could, but that I’m not sure I would have. It’s good to have friends like you who can help see the blessings behind the drama! I’ll be praying your insurance situation works out for the best.
Unkempt Mommy on November 20, 2008 6:47 pm
“they get Medicaid or whatever but yet they are stay at home moms. If you are too poor to get insurance, maybe you should get a part time job.”

Hee hee…this was almost me a while back. We applied and were just over the threshold of what you can make. I just think it’s really important for me to be at home and the cost of childcare wouldn’t be feasible with a part-time job anyway. (that, and we don’t have any family close who can babysit) DH was at a crummy job for a while and we didn’t have any insurance for a long time. The free health care would have REALLY helped out. I know that there are tons of folks out there who do work the system, but I know some SAHMs who get gov’t aid and I feel like they’re justified in their choice to stay at home. Just offering a different perspective.

And yeah – insurance companies suck!!

Scout is leaning over my typing arm right now kissing all the pics of Bailey on your sidebar. She gets frustrated when she can’t reach one of the pics and makes me scroll up so she can kiss all of them. LOL
Amanda on November 21, 2008 12:40 am
Ugh, I can’t believe your insurance company. What a bunch of crap. Any excuse to make a few extra dollars…
Mindy on November 21, 2008 4:40 am
Ugh. The healthcare system is totally flawed. That’s unbelievable…
Michelle on November 21, 2008 8:24 am
I hear ya on the insurance. We have been so blessed but things are changing with our insurance and NOT for the better. BUT. I realized recently as well that things could be so much worse. So I’m ok with it now.
Dawn B on November 21, 2008 1:04 pm
That truly sucks about your insurance. Insurance, in general, whether it’s car insurance or what have you, it’s all such a scam. My personal tiny opinion? I think health insurance companies do find any reason to charge more. They use these technicalities so much.
Right now Ricky has no health insurance with his new job. He’s supposed to get it soon but since his job is pretty slow in the paperwork dept. we won’t be holding our breath on when it begins. Which sucks because he and I, if we get sick..we’re up shits creek without a paddle as they say..lol
So, onto the kiddies. They both have Medical Assistance and right now I’m not working outside of the home. I say it that way, because being a mom of two? That’s work. I’m sorry. A mom of one? Still hard work. So really I’m not sorry for being able to stay home. With constant doctors appointments, sicknesses that kids get, Natalie being a liability and not being able to afford daycare for TWO kids, let alone one with Natalie’s condition..gosh.. we would be in the red every month if I tried to work full time. Now part time? I miss doing that and will continue again in March. If things don’t change with construction and the economy soon, Ricky and I will be switching spots- he being a stay at home dad with a PT job and me working full time with the government. Well, that’s the plan anyway. I have rambled beyond belief. But I guess my whole point is that without free insurance (and we’ve paid monthly for it before for a while until we ended up making less again) I don’t know what we would do without it.
And you are so right..in this time of everything being so crazy, we really need to focus on what we have and what we don’t have. Amen sister.
Amber on November 23, 2008 7:53 am
Well, I am a stay at home mom who has Medicaid for my kids because it costs way too much to add them to my husband’s insurance. And going back to work and paying daycare would eat up all my money anyway and I would rather be home with my children. Also, because I paid buttloads in taxes for years while working, I feel like its okay if I have my children on Medicaid for a few years, and then when they are in school, I can go back to work and continue to pay buttloads in taxes, which is what pays for Medicaid anyway. So, I feel it’s justified. Now if I were to sit at home for the rest of my life and collect it, that’s another thing entirely.
Dawn B on November 23, 2008 2:47 pm
Amber, you said it perfectly. If you pay buttloads in taxes, it is justified at least with how I see it. We’re already paying for our own benefits and then some. I feel like whatever families have to do to make things work for them and keep their kids happy and healthy (especially when little ones) and pay the bills with honest jobs and if that means the mom staying home and collecting the medicaid, then why not? It’s what every mom should be able to do.
There’s a huge gap now between the low and upper class now. There is no more middle class and that’s the problem. Hopefully that’ll change. We used to be middle class (took ALOT of hard work to get there especially since I grew up poor) and we are now back to lower class status.
And now I conclude my run-on sentences. lol