9 Comments so far

1. Elizabeth on April 28, 2007 4:00 am

   So true. Figuring out life with another one so reliant on you is HARD. It will get easier. You will get into a groove. The moments where you want to pull your hair out will pass and will be replaced by moments that you hope will never end. Sending you blogger-love from a strange (www.devriesthree.blogspot.com)

2. eipwek on April 28, 2007 6:09 am

   Many hugs to you!…from a girl who is right there with you. Some moments I find myself looking forward to when she is about a year old or so because I have much more experience w/ babies that are a little older…….but then I stare at her perfect face an realize that she’ll never be this tiny again.

   I feel your pain (and joy:) ….also looking forward to getting into some sort of routine where I don’t feel like some sort of unbathed hermit.

3. Anonymous on April 28, 2007 12:42 pm

   It does get easier. I swear. The first six months of having a new baby are quite frankly hell. Just know that it’s not forever, and each week will be easier than the previous one. There will be days that might be worse than the one before, but overall from week to week things will get a tiny bit easier as you adapt and she adapts. Hang in there.

   rev_matt_y

4. Anonymous on April 28, 2007 12:52 pm

   The newborn stage for a first time mom is HARD WORK. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s a huge huge huge change and not easy at all. It makes no sense biologically. Your body is desperately trying to recover and you get no sleep and tons of stress. That doesn’t help any.

   And I was someone who tried to get pregnant for FOUR YEARS. Imagine my confusion when I looked at my baby and thought, “What have we done???”

   The second time around is easier because you know those hard newborn stages do end. Then you are more rested and can handle all the other challenges that come along. So as a second time parent, I can assure you that yes, it gets easier in the respect that YOU feel better and stronger. In a few months, she will only wake up once a night. You will be more rested, your hormones will have balanced, and your energy will be back.

   In all of your pictures lately, you look very pale. It’s obvious your body is fighting to just balance and recover. No wonder this is extra hard. Some women bounce back immediately. Some women need more time.

   But yes, it gets easier in the fact that you will feel better and find more strength to handle the crying jags and all the issues that are ahead. And once she starts smiling at you, all those issues seem to fade away a bit. I had a really rough day with Av yesterday where she just would not sleep and settle down and was eating poorly. The only reason I could handle it without losing my mind was the fact that I am well rested and energetic. That helps. If I had been sleep deprived and hormonal yesterday, I would have been sobbing on the floor.

   Does it get easier? New challenges are around every corner. But YOU will feel better. That makes all the difference in the world.

   The big mistake women make is thinking this is a one size fits all experience. It’s not. No two experiences are exactly alike. No two babies are exactly alike. No two breastfeeding stories are exactly alike. No two recovery stories are exactly alike. I hope everyone takes that into consideration before offering you any kind of advice. Their focus should be on your needs right now. Making sure you feel good and healthy so you can enjoy what’s ahead.

   _rev’s wife

5. Charisa on April 28, 2007 12:55 pm

   I’ve been following along with your pregnancy and have enjoyed reading your blog. Seeing how excited you were while pregnant has made me more excited to have a second child!
   It’s so hard in the beginning, I’d say the first 2 or 3 months really. But take the help when offered and know that it won’t last forever. You and your husband will get through it and next thing you’ll know she’ll be 1 and you won’t even remember those sleepless nights! Congrats and Good Luck!

6. Julie on April 28, 2007 1:07 pm

   I think you are taking good steps to get through this rough time, and you have family around to help you- I didn’t have that luxury with Tyler so I stayed in the zombie “milkified” state longer than most probably…. I had only been away from Tyler three hours total ever for more than the first year or more…. however, that was me….. in time things do get easier, they change but you learn how to adapt along the way

7. Jenny on April 28, 2007 3:35 pm

   I am afraid I will be in the same boat in a week. My parents are coming out a week after I have the baby (which should be tomorrow!) and then DH’s parents the week after that. They aren’t staying with us either, but I am sure it will be a little uncomfortable with feedings and such. Hopefully this stage will pass soon!

8. TigerShan on April 28, 2007 3:37 pm

   My Lilith is 2 weeks old. I still don’t know what I am doing, but the fogginess does get better. The breastfeeding is SO hard!! I get frustrated and then feel very guilty about my feelings, but it looks like you and I both feel a bit the same way. I’ll let you know if I find out any secrets!

9. Bethany on April 29, 2007 3:18 am

   Tara– Hooray for you! You’ve already made it this far! The first few weeks are the hardest, and they seem to take forever!! You’re doing wonderfully You’ve got the hardest (sorest!) part down already as you’re feeding Bailey. Meals should come from church soon, and you have dozens of people at your beck and call (even in the middle of the night. heck, we’re all up breastfeeding too!) Just pick up your YMSC directory and call anyone in it– we’re here for anything you need: groceries, a clean bathroom, a nap in the middle of the day You’re the most important person in Bailey’s world right now. No-one else can do your job, and you’re doing it beautifully. Hang in there– it only gets better from here on out
   Bethany