Missing You Already

Filed Under Birth, Daddy, Pregnancy, Thoughts | 3 Comments

I just realized something- I keep thinking I am so anxious to be done being pregnant and just have Bailey here- but I will never have her THIS CLOSE to me again. From the minute she comes out, she will start growing up. That’s so fast. I shouldn’t be wishing this time away. I have decided I am going to try to enjoy every single little squirm and foot poke these last few days. I always assume I will have other pregnancy(ies) but who knows- this could be my only one- and I am just wishing it away.

This is my little baby girl who I have wanted for as long as I can remember. I know I would love a little boy too, but this is my dream baby. I know we are in for a rough road ahead and hopefully not too much spoiling, but she is already perfect in my eyes. I think that’s why I can’t wait to see her. But the next thing I know she will be walking and talking and not my little baby anymore…. so I need to enjoy EACH day with her. Plus, it’s been pointed out to me that it won’t ever be this easy again and I’ll wish I could put her back inside for an hour or two and catch a nap

The other realization I had last night was that Jonathon and I have a maximum of FIVE nights together as a “couple” before we become parents. I don’t really consider us a family right now. I mean, I know we technically are, but we still seem like Just Jonathon and Tara. We are going to become a whole Family of Three in less than a week. I cried because I am worried that I will miss just us.

He reminded me of a freakout I had the night before we left for our honeymoon. (Not our wedding night, the next night)… I actually called my mom in tears at bedtime and said, “I can’t believe I’m living with a boy! I don’t know if I’m going to like this!” I was completely scared- and apparently not too worried about hurting his feelings, either- but I was terrified of the unknown. But last night he reminded me of this, and was like, “Look, now you’re so scared for that to change. But it’s going to be the same way. Scary at first and then you won’t be able to imagine anything else.”

I guess I am just feeling a little overly emotional and apprehensive of so much changing. And of course worrying about the birth- I’m sure that’s contributing to my freaking out.

Anyway, Bailey, I am looking forward to seeing you whenever you are ready to come out. But I need to warn you: Monday is your deadline to decide to come out on your own

Comments

3 Comments so far

Mae Midwest on April 11, 2007 1:42 pm
That’s why you have date nights and date weekends when G-ma can watch the kiddos for you. You never want to forget that “just us” feeling. It can be recaptured just from a night at Melting Pot and playing grab ass under the table.

You are also right that having a child will change everything and most of it is for the better. You are right about the rough parts, and right about the wonderful parts.

It sounds like you are going into this with very open eyes. Which is good.

Is today your appointment or tomorrow? I have a feeling you will be sent from the Drs office right to the hospital.

Or you had better. I am going to be out that way this weekend and it would be very convenient for me to stop by.

HAHAHA, so have your baby now so it’s convenient for ME.

WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THE CALL? AHHHHH
Frema on April 11, 2007 3:07 pm
Liz from Marriage-101 sent me over here, as I just recently learned I’m pregnant myself! How exciting that your baby’s arrival is so close!

Also, I’ve considered my husband and I to be a family since we got married last year, because we really have approached life together much differently since then. As we become parents, I will try to remind myself that this child will add to the family we created, not become the entire focus of it. Although he/she will definitely wear the pants the first few months!

Good luck!
Marriage-101 on April 11, 2007 4:00 pm
You must be nice and snuggly in there because it appears Bailey doesn’t want to leave! Hopefully you don’t have to kick her out.

I loved this post by the way. Jonathon is exactly right. I know it doesn’t really compare, but I felt that way before we got the dog. He’s so big, and requires so much attention, he’s ALMOST like having a baby